Hi Guys! It's almost 2 AM and I have to get up early in the morning. I've really gotten into the Beverly Hills show (not the new one - the good old 90's one!) and I've been procrastinating by watching it for over a week now. Even though I had a 12 - hours - long work day, I cannot fall asleep. It's a bad habit of mine - whenever I bring the laptop into my bed, watch movies or something until late at night / early in the morning, I realize afterwards, that I stayed up and got over - tired. Which means, it's so late past my bedtime, that my body already thinks it's another day, alarmes all of the systems and gets ready to go through at least another 12 hours. God I wish sometimes this happened at 6 AM instead of 2 AM! But it doesn't. Oh well.
Since I've not been sleeping, my stomach has started to claim its pray at about over an hour ago. I can't just go to the kitchen and fix myself a snack - that would wake up the whole house plus they would think I'm crazy. That is why I wish right now I was living all by myself. Because if I were, I would get up, switch on the lights, make myself a cup of coffee, some eggs and toasts, watch TV, clean up my desk, vacuum...I could get so many things done!
It's funny how we change our desires and needs throughout our life. When I was younger and had to ask my parents for permission to eat candy or to buy a sweater, I felt so dependent. I didn't realize I had all it took (plus I didn't own a computer, so I couldn't watch the TV late at night and than not fall asleep!!). Back than, the ONLY reason I wanted to grow up was that I could buy myself as much candy and chocolate as I wanted. Only when the time had arrived and I could buy myself those treats, I'd realize, that not only I have to work in order to gain some money, but that by eating three bars of chocolate in a row would make me sick. Something my mom always used to say, but I would never believe her.
Living with parents, growing up - you wish you wouldn't have to tell them about every step you take, right? Especially, if the step is headed towards a club or a bar. Now that I have this freedom, I realize there are other responsibilities that come with it and that it's not that simple. Since I live outside the city (and not only here in Toulouse, but also in Bordeaux and in Prague), I have to drive home. And I cannot drive if I drink. So, it's not the parents, there are other circumstances that make the difficulty level always the same, no matter what.
But tonight, I really wish I lived all by myself, so I could fry myself those eggs and drink maybe a little bit of orange juice with it. God, please, let it be morning already. (But then, I know what I'll be saying in four hours...)
Adelka